LCS News & Acronyms
By popular demand, here are the Fractured L*C*S* Acronyms from the weekly posts. If you’re new here, LCS officially stands for “Littoral Combat Ship“. With all the mechanical difficulties, confusion of roles, and dramatic cost-overruns, some of us in the blogosphere have created some interesting twists to what these letters really stand for!
All of these, in good fun, are presented by our dedicated Band of Readers. Feel free to add more in the comments and I’ll post them!
*****
Because we have slowed down on the posting of new LCS acronyms, though feel free to keep them coming, you may also post any littoral combat ship Breaking News here, along with the appropriate discussion.
*****
- Look! We’re Clueless about the Shallows
- Lavishly Crewed Speedboat
-
Lousy Concept Ship
-
Literal Cash Sin
-
Littoral Cash Shocker
-
Listless Crunchy Ship
-
Leveraged Cost Ship
-
Listing Capital Sink
-
Littoral Combat Gyp
-
Luxury Cruise Ship
-
Less Capable Service
-
Lickity Cwick Ship
-
Low on Combat Systems
-
Low Capability Ship
-
Laughably inCapable Ship
-
Lack of Common Sense
-
Lockmart Capsizes at Sea
-
Low Cost Ship (How’d that get there!!)
-
Little Crappy Ship
-
Look for Costs to Soar
-
Looks Cool offShore
-
Literal Crap Shoot
-
Lockmart Cancels Sanity
-
Lockheed Can’t be Serious!
-
Loosely Constrained Swindle
-
Literally Costly Swindle
-
Lackadaisically Constrained Swindle
-
LockMart’s Costly Swindle
-
Little Crappy Showboat
-
Literally Crappy Ship
-
LockMart’s Cash Sucker
-
Literally Corpulent Speedboat
-
Likely to Collapse Suddenly
-
Life onboard Could be Short
-
Likely Can’t Survive
-
Likely to Capsize and Sink in 1 minute
-
Literally Collapsible Speedboat
-
Literally Collapsible Showboat
-
Literally Collapsible Ship
-
Lickity Cwick Speedboat
-
Lickity Cwick Showboat
-
Loser Compared to Skjold
-
Literally inComparable to Skjold
-
Loses in Competition to Sea Fighter
-
Laughably Compromised Specifications
-
Larry Curley Shemp
-
Lousy Capacity Speedboat
-
Let’s Copy Swift
-
Loquaciously Consumptive Speedboat
-
Luxuriantly Crappy Speedboat
93 Comments
leave one →
Trackbacks
- La U.S. Navy intenta entrar a trompicones en el siglo XXI | Guerras Posmodernas
- Ship Type Designations | Chuck Hill's CG Blog
- The US Navy Stumbles into the 21st Century | Postmodern Wars
- USS Freedom Limping Toward Singapore – The US Navy’s Sorry LCS Saga Continues | Old Salt Blog – a virtual port of call for all those who love the sea
- Littoral Combat Ship Program Plowing Ahead Regardless | Old Salt Blog – a virtual port of call for all those who love the sea
- The Scoop Deck – Littoral [fill in the blank] ship
- LCS News « New Wars
- Defense Department acquisition reform: small step or pointless? « gringo lost
- Military And Intelligence News Briefs — April 26, 2010 « Read NEWS
- Military And Intelligence News Briefs — April 26, 2010 « Read NEWS
- LCS Acronyms « ELP Defens(c)e Blog
- Littoral Combat Ship versus HMS Hood « New Wars
New Wars 
Does anyone know what mission an LCS can carry out? It seems less capable than some Corvettes and much less capable than Frigates. It is not sufficiently armed to take on boats, let alone ships. It appears to be an expensive RHIB Transport Ship. Can anyone say with confidence the LCS can take on and defeat any other type of ship or boat? Maybe an unarmed Pirate Boat? I don’t know.
Least Capable Ship
Little Crappy Ship
Lost Cause Ship
LEgalized Corporate Scam
Lasting Chaos and Shambles
Gee -If pundants put this much energy into doing something positive, think what might be! Cute doesn’t cut it!
The Trimaran design is still extremely effective at maintaining high speeds in rough waters.
Though I’m personally waiting for the Canadian government to dig the hydrofoil project out of a hole.
I really liked your post.Thanks Again. Great.
And perhaps a small but stable carrier in the seafighter style with a ski jump ramp and electromagnetic catapult and arrested recovery as VCS backup.
That would help to keep the large carriers at a safe distance while allowing strikes and sorties over a short distance as well as return to the big carrier after the small carrier in the littoral has been drained and needs replenishment.
I’m very much a minority, but I think the Littoral Combat Ship isn’t a bad idea per se. Rather the execution is not yet very satisfying. That’s no wonder considering the working of the military machinery. There seems to be a serious trouble in the military with reduction and focus (see fighter mafia). Rather there’s a mentality that I need to carry everything always with me. This reminds me very much about people with two large trolleys for a weekend trip.
The original concept of the streetfighter ship was exactly what the littoral combat ship must become and likely will when messing with mission packages starts.
Such a ship is super for putting extra sensor platforms with self-defense capability into the coastal waters. You can’t expect them to do much analyses of information. For that task they need a reliable link to a data-processing entity or they need narrow mission specific outfits.
Options could be ASW and ASuW in one package and AAW and commando support in the other package. With two types being designed, the question can be solved. It just needs time for the people to understand that this is really a Less Capable Ship meant for high risk deployments with a silent, but credible, big-brother threat right behind it in case you target it. So while the LCS is being developed, the question remains, who will be the big brother Very Capable Ship (VCS) covering the LCS. Arsenal ships, guided missile submarines and real frigattes are a suitable option in my opinion.
Lost Complete Sanity
Lowly Cheap Sh**, you figure it out. Build the upgraded Perry then this. ship, it is said when it has been compared to a yacht with a gun on it
Another good one… This is from ‘glof’ who was responding to the “Red Flags Everywhere” thread at ID:
“Personally I expect the letters LCS came long before the name Littoral Combat Ship came along. I don’t know what they ment, but I suspect one or two ideas suggested on Mike site are close. For argument sake, let say it was Lightweight Combat Ship instead of Littoral Combat Ship, does that title not change your idea of what the ship should be?”
I suppose by “Mike site” he meant this particular thread.
I find “Lightweight Combat Ship” to be quite appropriate. Or, perhaps it might be Lightweight Capability Ship or even Lightweight Capability Speedboat…
http://www.informationdissemination.net/2010/09/red-flags-everywhere.html#disqus_thread
It would appear that ELP has been on top of this Largesse Consuming Supplicant since … oh … let’s just say (at least) last week.
Large Contemptible Speedboat.
Robert Farley at ID just brought up this article from DefenseTech. The thing about it that I find interesting is the number of comments regarding LCS – 92 of ’em…
Several regular contributors to New Wars have contributed to that long list of comments. Many of the comments are quite good and informative.
LCS Mission Modules Not Working As Intended
http://defensetech.org/2010/09/01/lcs-mission-modules-not-working-as-intended/
More on the LCS debacle by Phil Ewing at Scoop Deck:
Littoral [fill in the blank] ship
http://militarytimes.com/blogs/scoopdeck/2010/09/01/littoral-fill-in-the-blank-ship/
Oh, and the comments are reallllly good!
This isn’t news or an acronym but it relates to a conversation on the breaking news page about recent loading of EOD mission modules on LCS-2.
Click to access canaday.pdf
LockMart Champions Speed (at the cost of everything else…)
Lucky to Continue Sailing?
Low Chance of Sales?
Laughing Chinese Strategists?
Less Crew Safety?
Let’s Curtail Surviability!
Lets Conceit Succeed (conceit seems an appropriate attribution to certain bureaus that have foisted this monstrosity upon the Navy).
Wiktionary definition: conceit (countable and uncountable; plural conceits)
1. (uncountable) Overly high self-esteem; vain pride; hubris.
2. (obsolete) Something conceived in the mind; a conception; a notion; an idea; a thought.
3. (countable) A novel or fanciful idea; a whim.
4. (countable) In literature and poetry, a device of analogy consisting of an extended metaphor.
Numbers 1 thru 3 seem to work for me, when combined together.
(the nearly identical phrase “Lest Conceit Succeed” just doesn’t seem to be right, even though it’s far more high-brow and catchier…)
Presumably an error, but the Navy Times, 30 Aug. edition has a story on Page 2 about foreign military sales and there among the pictures of FFGs scheduled for sale was a photo of LCS-1 captioned “The frigate Freedom will be transferred to the Navy of Pakistan; U. S. sailors will train their Pakistani counterparts to operate the ship.”
Hearts leap–if only it were true.
Loads of Chum Scattered
Laden with Chundering Sailors/Squids
Phil Ewing at Scoop Deck has this interesting piece regarding the naming of follow-up LCS units. The comments are also very much worth reading.
The LCS name strategy at work
http://militarytimes.com/blogs/scoopdeck/2010/08/25/the-lcs-name-strategy-at-work/
Littoral Combat Ship: Minimal Manning Factors-EagleSpeak
“Most Navy veterans with ship service have done their share of long hours and long days with minimal rest. These were, for the most part, exceptions – not a design plan.
Merchant ships can get away with minimal manning because they don’t have all those things to do that distinguish warships from them – like manning a combat info center, operating helicopters and the like.
Now, if you need more people to operate safely, where will you put them?”
http://www.eaglespeak.us/2010/08/littoral-combat-ship-minimal-manning.html
Credit this one to Craig Hooper:
“Little Sipper Class”. You know, because it drinks a lot of fuel.
Tangosix offers us another, realllllly different meaning for that acronym LCS…
tangosix
August 2, 2010 7:54 pm
Hello,
there is a picture and some particulars of M.Star here:
http://www.mol.co.jp/opensea/0904_nnldo.html
I have decided she shall no longer be known as a V.L.C.C., henceforth she is the new L.C.S. (Large Corvette Ship).
tangosix.
Joe and DE, well put!
LCS = Likely Causes Surrender
Leaky, Creaky Scow
Likely a Complete Scam
Like Corporeal Susceptibility
Lost Cost Showboat / Speedboat / Ship
Least Capable Ship
-or-
Least Capable Showboat
-or-
Lacking Capability Speedboat
Lacking a Clear Strategy
Lost Costly Stupidity
Littoral Stoner Sinkboat…
Ludacris Crafted Ship…
I LOVE Larry Curley Shemp!
Genius!
Inspired by D E:
Lunch Completely Swallowed o.O;
Given the recent news regarding the 67 percent failure rate for the NLOS missile system intended for the LCS program, then this (sadly) seems appropriate:
Launch Can’t Succeed
Ha ha! Those are great!
Leaky Creaky Squeeky
Like, you Can’t be Serious!
I left off what I think may be a good one:
Lousy Crappy Showboat
or:
Lousy Crappy Speedboat
or then there’s:
Lousy Crapshoot of a Showboat
or:
Lousy Crapshoot of a Speedboat
Logic Collapses Mr. Spock
Ludicrously Comparable Synonym (LCS) to (Littoral Combat Ship[LCS])
Lusciously Compromised (attempt at a) Skjold
Luxuriously Compromised Skjold
Luxuriantly Crappy Speedboat
Loquaciously Consumptive Speedboat
Mike,
Don’t forget to add your own latest LCS definition from the comparisons of the LCS concept with that of battlecruisers:
“And they both Looked Cool offShore!”
Then, there’s that wonderful offering by Tangosix in that same thread:
‘…L.C.S. stands for “Let’s Copy (H.M.S.) Swift”, another of Jackie Fisher’s babys.’
D.E, you’re working my dictionary overtime!LOL
Laconians Can’t Say (anything simply laconic enough to aptly describe the LCS concept)
Lacking Cognitive Semblance (to anything properly conceptualized & executed)
Loud C(k)azoo Sprinter… …Which is about as meaningful as the present implementations of either LCS design.
Had to look that word up D.E.! Yeah that fits.
Lack of Cognisance, Spock?
Lifesigns Confused, Spock
Strike that last try. I was trying to think about how to use the word supersized and you can see that my thoughts went adrift. Here’s what I should have written:
Lousy Capacity Speedboat
Lousy Supersized Speedboat
Keep at it D.E.! You guys continue to amaze!
Mike,
I’m trying to come up with an apropos Star Trek name. Something along the lines of “_____ _____, Scottie” seems like the best possibility. Maybe “Leaking sCow, Scottie” might strike a cord with some trekkers observing the LCS program with sensors running askance & amok.
I would never thought of the Stooges. Thats classic, and some of my favorites!
Retired Now,
That is soooo excellent!!! Now can anyone else come up with applicable Three Stooges -analogies- to the LCS other than Larry, Curly, & Shemp? If so, then I want to see them! Meanwhile, I think that I’m off to review Three Stooges videos on YT in a pertinent research effort so as to answer my question…
Ooooohh! Thats so bad its good! Thanks!
Larry Curley Shemp (the Original 3 stooges)
I like those too! In the same spirit:
Loses in Competition to Sea Fighter
Heretic,
I like that! Here’s my try…
Literally inComparable to Skjold
Laughably Compromised Specifications
Loser Compared to Skjold
Based upon my earlier entry:
Lickity Cwick Showboat
Lickity Cwick Speedboat
Ooohhhh! Woe to me! What am I to do?!?!?
I’ve got it! Or, several its (iterations)…
Literally Collapsible Ship
Literally Collapsible Showboat
Literally Collapsible Speedboat
OK, I’ll give you another one :
LCS-1 :
Likely to Capsize and Sink in 1 minute
In the same vein :
Likely Can’t Survive
Life onboard Could be Short
(an oblique reference to the *outstanding* stability in damaged condition achieved by LCS-1)
Likely to Collapse Suddenly
Literally Corpulent Speedboat
LLockMart’s Cash Sucker
Literally Crappy Ship
Little Crappy Showboat
You guys are so creative! Very good.
Scott,
You’ve set me off…
Loosely Constrained Swindle
Literally Costly Swindle
Lackadaisically Constrained Swindle
LockMart’s Costly Swindle